Meet Residents Kay and Al Miller, Who Found Love at Golden West
Golden West resident Kay Miller has some advice for older adults in search of a romantic partner in their later years: never give up on finding love! She and her husband Al are proof of that, having met just three years ago at Golden West.
Kay, 77, moved to Golden West in 2015 and Al, 83, arrived three years later. They met as part of a resident group that gathered in the lobby every evening to chat. After a dinner date, the two established a bond that has stood strong ever since.
“We were very compatible on a lot of things and we had similar views,” said Kay. “Neither one of us were very prickly. We work together well; neither one of us has to be in charge.”
This is his fifth marriage and Kay’s third. She hails from Wichita, Kansas, and worked with her husband for 25 years as a board-certified optician. Al is from Cumberland, Rhode Island and spent 40 years installing computer networks at banks and insurance companies, including the state’s first ATMs.
He describes his and Kay’s relationship as “fun” and “spicy.”
“We have a good time, and we haven’t had one fight,” said Al. “It took a long time for me to end up as happy and comfortable as I am today.”
The couple, who live in the South Tower, were both ready for marriage early on and moved in together soon after meeting. However, they waited seven months “so our kids wouldn’t think we were rushing into things.”
“It’s a lot easier to decide to get married when you’re older because there’s not the question of do we have kids or don’t we?” said Kay. “It’s really about someone you find companionship with.”
The two married in March 2019 at a DIY ceremony in Golden West’s Aspen Room. They wrote their own vows and Kay sewed her own dress. Both of their sons spoke, and Kay’s great granddaughters and Siamese cat, Sassy, were flower girls.
Today, Kay and Al are members of Golden West’s theater group and like socializing in the dining room. During the pandemic, Kay enjoys Zoom meetings with friends and family, and Al gets out to walk whenever he can, and each evening, the two take Sassy on a walk through the hallways.
Offering their advice for a successful marriage, Kay cited “complete honesty and similar values,” while Al said “a good sense of humor” is the key ingredient.
“You’ve got to be able to go with the flow,” said Al. “If you take a stubborn stance all the time you’ll get nowhere. Keep the humor in it and enjoy.”
“We don’t expect each other to be what we aren’t, and if we ever hit a little bump, we just agree to agree,” added Kay. “When I go to sleep at night, I think of what I’m grateful for, and of course, Al is number one. The cat is number two, and number three is Golden West.”